Her
song melted my heart. So often I feel inadequate
as a parent. I think I should spend more time with
my kids. I’m disappointed in myself on nights
when I don’t participate in their bedtime
routines. I don’t like it when I lose my
temper at them. I get discouraged when they don’t
notice the things I do for them. And then many
times when I try to reach out to play with them
or to engage them in meaningful conversation I
feel rejected.
But
here was a delightful reminder that indeed my
efforts to be “Christ’s Ambassador” as
her father were getting through! Briana was experiencing
the “good enough” parenting that she
needed. Her song indicated that she felt her mother
and I were a safe refuge and that she had an important
seat at our family table to talk about what was
important to her. She was experiencing her Heavenly
Father’s care through us. And so she could
enjoy being herself and growing in God’s
love.
It’s the same for you and I. To live the
joyful, growing life that God intends for us we
need ambassadors to show us God’s love (2
Corinthians 5:20) - especially if our childhood
home wasn’t a safe refuge or our the needs
of our soul weren’t treated as important.
To some extent we have all been hurt by our own
sins and others’ sins against us. So, as
Jesus put it, we all need to be “born again” (John
3:3) by putting our faith in Him. This means more
than a conversion experience. It means that the
needy, immature, hurt, sinful child within each
of us needs to go through a re-birth process, a
re-growing up in a new family – the Body
of Christ. We need God’s people to lead us
into “the Father’s house” by
depending on them for things like nurturing, comfort,
modeling, affirmation of our gifts, and corrective
feedback.
Jason
Grew Spiritually when Christ’s Ambassadors
Accepted Him
Frequently I tell people that the more loving connection
they experience with one of Christ’s ambassadors
the more of God’s love they’ll enjoy.
People who aren’t connected relationally
to others aren’t connected to themselves
or God. That’s how God made us. This is the
Apostle John’s message. He was Jesus’ best
friend. His experience of God’s love was
so profound that he identified himself as “the
Apostle who Jesus loved” (John 13:23, 20:2,
21:17, 21:20). In his letter of 1 John he reiterates
emphatically that we must love one another in order
to grow in God’s love. “No one has
ever seen God; but if we love each other, God lives
in us and his love is made complete in us” (1
John 4:12).
This
is what I told Jason, but at first it didn’t
make sense for him. He was in his 30’s, single,
lonely, and depressed. He was a committed Christian
who read his Bible, prayed regularly, led a Bible
Study in his home, and went to church twice every
week for worship and to volunteer in the kids program,
but he wasn’t feeling God’s love. Even
though he was around people at work and church
nobody really knew him. There were deep parts of
his heart that were unknown and untouched by love.
And his religious activity wasn’t changing
it.
God’s love started to break through the
day he broke down in my office, “I’m
so embarrassed,” he sobbed as he covered
his face with his hands. For what seemed like minutes,
but was really only seconds, he couldn’t
bear to explain himself. Finally, it spilled out, “I
was really depressed Friday night so I went out
with some guys at work. I had too much to drink
and I knew it, but I drove home anyway. Now it’ll
be on my record. How could I do that after all
the pain my Dad’s drinking caused me?”
Jason
was surprised that I didn’t reprimand
him. I listened and empathized with his pain and
the negative consequences he was facing. In subsequent
weeks he opened up his heart to share other hurts
with me like what it was like being a child in
his alcoholic family and how badly he wanted to
marry a Christian woman. He also got honest with
the people in his Bible Study. The more vulnerable
he was the more he felt accepted and cared for.
He learned to take his lonely and depressed feelings
to safe people and not to isolate or drink alcohol
at those times.
He
was also amazed that the Bible came alive to
him.
He’d read passages that he’d read
many times before, but now it was as if the Scriptures
were all new and God was speaking right to him!
For instance, one day he read the account of Jesus’ baptism
and God the Father raining down from heaven the
blessing, “This is my Son, whom I love; with
Him I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17). God’s
words to Jesus kept ringing in his ears for days.
Jason never felt his father’s acceptance
and affirmation. And one day at the beach he cried
out to God and in the gentle, rhythmic roar of
the waves he sensed God say to him, “You’re
my son too. I love you. I’m proud of you.
Now accept how I feel about you.”
When
Jason was at his worst Christ’s ambassadors
gave him compassion, forgiveness, and saw the good
in him. Then he was able to experience it from
God too. This is how he came alive spiritually
and started growing.
“I Guess I’m
not the Lone Ranger!”
After a particularly difficult psychotherapy
session Sam called me and said, “I’m feeling
better since talking with you about my divorce.
The other thing that helped me is that I read
in Psalm 36 that David felt the depths of depression
too. He also had to get through his enemies gloating
over him. He too thought God was angry with him
and distant. So I cried out to God for mercy
like David did and I can see that God is helping
me. I guess I’m not the Lone Ranger! I
can fight the good fight of faith with God’s
help.”
What
Sam is discovering is the same thing that Jason
learned after his DUI and my daughter Briana
experienced after her nightmare. Connecting with
the Heavenly Father’s love and growing spiritually
require that we cry out to God and His people in
the Body of Christ for help. “Blessed are
the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of
God,” Jesus taught us (Matthew 5:4). “The
Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those
who are crushed in spirit” David learned
through his painful experiences (Psalm 34:18).
Paul also grew closer to God by bringing his painful
struggles to the One who promised him, “My
grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Listen
to God’s Call
C.S. Lewis said that God whispers in our pleasures,
speaks in our conscience, and shouts in our pain.
Most of us need to be shouted at from time to
time in order to grow spiritually! But God is
always calling us to Himself, stirring up our
hunger to know Him and become more like Him.
Isn’t the song of the birds one of God’s
beautiful love songs to us? (Psalm 104:12,24).
Isn’t the word of God alive and active,
sharper than a double-edged sword in its ability
to convict our hearts and encourage us to follow
Jesus? (Hebrews 4:12). Isn’t the caring
of a Christ-follower the very care of God? (2
Corinthians 5:20).
Yes,
God is speaking to you and I in many ways – right
now even! - drawing us into His presence and empowering
us to do His work. If only we will listen and not
harden our hearts (Hebrews 4:7). If only we will
soften our hearts, realizing our need for Him,
crying out for His mercy, hungering for more Him,
trusting in His care and the care of His ambassadors,
and relying on Him to use us to minister to others
in His name.
When
we cling to God this way, whether in response
to joy, conviction, or pain, we will grow spiritually.
And that’s what life is all about.
William
Gaultiere, Ph.D. offers “Christian
Soul Care” as a Clinical Psychologist and
Spiritual Director in Irvine, CA. He is also the
Executive Director of the New Hope Crisis Counseling
Center at the Crystal Cathedral where he’s
trained over 1,000 people in Christian counseling
skills. He offers free encouraging articles on
Psychology, Family, and Christian Spirituality
and a monthly e-mail devotional that you can sign
up for at his website, www.ChristianSoulCare.com.
