Living
and Caring with God’s Pleasure: Let’s Go on an Adventure
Together!
William Gaultiere, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist & Spiritual Director, ChristianSoulCare.com
God
wants you and I alive with His life. Right now He is speaking
to us, pouring out His love into our souls. We can overcome
our trials and pains and be blessed by God to be a blessing.
You and I have gifts from God that other people need. So open
your heart with me and listen. God has called me and He is
calling you too! He’s calling us to follow Jesus on an
adventure of glorious living, a journey of living and caring
with God’s pleasure.
God
Wants us to Live and Care with Joy
The Bible says, “The Lord will take great delight in
you. He will rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17,
NIV). He fills you with joy in His presence, with eternal
pleasures at His right hand (Psalm 16:11, NIV). Yes, the joy
of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10, NIV). For in his
great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through
the resurrection of Jesus Christ. In this you greatly rejoice,
though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief
in all kinds of trials. For you are receiving the goal of
your faith, the salvation of your souls (1 Peter 1:3,6,9,
NIV). So let’s rejoice! Rejoice in the Lord always! (Philippians
4:4, NIV) It’s only in Him that we live and move and
have our being (Acts 17:28, NIV). Truly, the Lord has his
eye on us and has designs on us for glorious living! (Ephesians
1:12, Message) So continue with others for their progress
and joy in the faith, so that through them being with you
again their joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of
you.” (Philippians 1:25-26, NIV)
A
little over a year ago I realized that I wasn’t living
my life and caring for others with God’s pleasure. Now
I can see that I was like a can of soda pop that had gone
flat. The fizz wasn’t there. The sparkle in my eyes was
missing.
What
went wrong? I had neglected my First Love and lost my passion
for serving Him. Slowly, over almost 20 years, I had forgotten
the lessons that God had taught me. I had become somewhat
bored with being a counselor. Stressed by managing the New
Hope Crisis Counseling Center. Tired of working mostly to
pay bills. I was spiritually flat and going from day to day
without the energized focus I needed.
I’d
like to share with you how I’m learning to live and care
with God’s pleasure and invite you to join me.
Lean
into Life’s Whitewaters
Last year I went whitewater rafting on the Kern River with
my 11-year old son and his by Boy Scout trip. What a thrilling
adventure! And scary too! Driving on the highway along the
river we saw a sign that said, “264 people have died
in the Kern river since 1962.” I thought about turning
around. If that wasn’t bad enough, I learned that just
one-week prior someone died in the river at that very spot.
This
was on my mind at the roughest section of the river when our
guide yelled, "High water hard!" which he had taught
us meant, "Lean forward into the high waters and paddle
hard or else we'll flip over!" Being one of the two front
paddlers, I knew my role was crucial so I leaned out over
the tip of the raft and into the splashing waves and paddled
furiously through about a five foot dip, screaming, "Ahhhh!
Ahh!" and then finally, "Yes! We did it!"
My
son and I, and I think the others too, gained something important
from prevailing in our battle with the roaring whitewaters
– trust. To avoid the jutting rocks and to crash through
the turbulent waves we had to trust our guide, who knew the
Kern River like the back of his hand, was right in telling
us to lean into the rough waters. That’s like trusting
God when He says: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers,
whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that
the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance
must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,
not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4, NIV)
It takes a lot of trust in God to find joy in our trials!
It’s the opposite of what we tend to do. We lean away
from life’s turbulence when we complain about our problems
or avoid other people’s pain. That’s what I found
myself doing a few months ago when my raft crashed into a
series of pre-adolescent rapids with my son. Disobedience,
defiance, negativity, bullying his younger sisters were threatening
our raft. But underneath it all he was pressured and depressed
by schoolwork, added responsibilities, and feeling like he
wasn’t appreciated in our home.
And
I’m supposed to be a psychologist! It’s tough to
be a psychologist and a parent. You don’t believe me?
The other day my daughter complained, “You don’t
even care about how I feel. You shouldn’t be a counselor
for other people!”
“Lean
into the rough waters Bill. Rejoice in your trials.”
To live with this attitude I have to remind myself of this
again and again. This is an opportunity to teach my son to
respect authority. I have the chance to show him that my love
(and God’s love!) for him doesn’t change even when
he’s difficult. All our trials are an opportunity to
learn and to grow in love for God and others.
Befriend
our Pain and Others’ Pain
John Powell, S.J., a professor at Loyola University in Chicago,
shared a touching story that I came across. Here’s what
he wrote:
I
stood watching my university students file into the classroom
for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the
first day I first saw Tommy… Tommy turned out to be the
"atheist in residence" in class. He constantly objected
to, smirked at or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally
loving Father-God. When he came up at the end of the course
to turn in his final exam, he asked in a slightly cynical
tone: “Do you think I'll ever find God?” “No!”
I said very emphatically. “Oh,” he responded, “I
thought that was the product you were pushing.” I let
him get five steps from the classroom door and then called
out: “Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find him, but
I am absolutely certain that he will find you!” He shrugged
a little and left my class and my life.
Later
I heard that Tommy had graduated; then a sad report, I heard
that he had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out,
he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body
was very badly wasted, and his long hair had all fallen out
as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and
his voice was firm when he said, “For the first time,
I believe. When the doctors removed a lump from my groin and
told me that it was malignant, then I got serious about locating
God. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs,
I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors
of heaven. But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened.”
“Well,
one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile
appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may
not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn't really
care... about God, about an after-life or anything like that.
I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more
profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered
something you had said: 'The essential sadness is to leave
this world without ever telling those you loved that you had
loved them.'”
“So
I began with the hardest one: my Dad… I said, `Dad, I
love you. I just wanted you to know that.’ Then my father
did two things I could never remember him ever doing before.
He cried and he hugged me. And we talked all night, even though
he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to
be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug,
to hear him say that he loved me. I was only sorry about one
thing; that I had waited so long. Here I was just beginning
to open up to all the people I had actually been close to.”
“Then,
one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come
to me when I pleaded with him. I guess I was like an animal
trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon, jump through. C'mon, I'll
give you three days.... three weeks.' Apparently God does
things in his own way and at his own hour. But He was there.
He found me. He found me even after I stopped looking for
Him.”
Tommy
was scheduled to share his story in John Powell’s class,
but he died. But the story lives on for you and I, just as
Tommy asked for. When Tommy accepted his terminal cancer and
his broken relationship with his father God showed up. He
finally experienced God’s love. He came alive! And when
John Powel entered into Tommy’s dying and his pain with
him he too experienced the love and joy of the Lord.
This
is what I want to do. To feel my painful feelings and share
my heart with my friends. To embrace others in pain and offer
comfort. What a priviledge and honor it is when someone trusts
me with their hurt places and I get to be Christ’s ambassador.
It’s a sacred moment and God always shows up with his
love, joy, and peace in the midst of the pain.
Probably
there’s some turbulence in your life too that you need
to lean into with God’s help so that you can press forward
in the adventure that God has for you.
Reach
out to Give and Receive God’s Grace in the Body of Christ
The summer before my senior year of college I worked as an
apprentice butcher. It was one of the most painful times in
my life. Certainly a chance to “lean into the turbulence!”
and “Befriend my pain.”
The
butchers butchered me! They criticized my mistakes. And I
made plenty since I was just learning their trade. They harassed
me at every chance they could because they resented that I
was there to make money for college, not to become a butcher.
They persecuted me for being a Christian and a moral kid,
cussing at me, spewing out filth, and laughing at me. I held
back tears. I tried to be strong. I worked my hardest to do
everything right and to be a good Christian.
But
they got the best of me and before the summer was over I quit
the job and walked away from money I needed for college. I
was exhausted, broken, and believed I was a failure. I went
home, feeling like a dog, licking my wounds.
At
the beginning of the summer I had planned to take a 3-day
retreat right before going back to school. I needed to make
decisions about my future. What would I do with my psychology
degree? I thought I’d go to graduate school, but where?
So I had these days set aside for solitude, fasting, meditation,
and prayer. But then I got beat up in the meat market. I didn’t
want to go, but I went anyway.
My
experience at the monastery was meaningful, but not revolutionary.
The next day was a turning point though. I was in church singing,
“How lovely on the mountains are the feet of him who
brings good news. Good news. Announcing peace, proclaiming
news of happiness. Our God reigns! Our God reigns!”
Suddenly,
in my mind’s eye I saw myself at the bottom of Mount
Sinai, where Moses got the 10 commandments. I wanted to climb
to the top to meet with God, but I felt dejected, exhausted,
and incapable. I felt the sense of shame and isolation that
I felt in the meat market. But I was telling myself that I
had to get up. I had to work at it. I had to try harder and
do better.
Then
my anxious, self-critical and self-demanding thoughts were
interrupted by the sight of Jesus coming down the mountain.
He was looking at me with eyes of compassion. He stopped when
he came to me and picked me up and put me over his shoulders.
He started to carry me up the mountain. A crowd formed and
people started to insult him, spit at him, yell at him, and
beat him. I realized that I was like the cross on his back.
He was taking on himself the persecution I experienced and
my sins. He carried me all the way into the presence of God,
to the top of the mountain.
And
all I could see where his feet. “How lovely on the mountains
are the feet of him who brings good news!”
After
that I learned that I needed God’s grace more than anything.
I was tired of isolating myself and working so hard to measure
up. Instead I was going to feel my feelings and to ask for
help. So during my Senior year of college I started to open
up my heart. First, to one of my psychology professors who
was my mentor. Then, to a support group, my roommate, and
other friends. Finally, to a girl named Kristi who I started
dating. (She later became my wife!)
I
learned that the gracious acceptance I received for being
honest was so much better than the praise I got for being
ideal. These support people were like God with skin on to
me. They were the “Body of Christ” for me. They
helped me experience the grace of God that touched my heart
so clearly in my vision. Ever since I’ve been going back
to God’s people for more and looking for opportunities
to give grace to others.
If
you haven’t learned to rely on the Body of Christ for
God’s grace and to be a grace-giver then I urge you to
do so!
Listen
to God with our Hearts
There are so many ways that God speaks to us – the Bible,
prayer, sacraments like communion, wise Christians, friends,
nature. But there’s only one way that we hear what God
is saying - with our hearts. This is exactly what David told
us in Psalm 18:6, “I will praise the Lord who counsels
me; even at night my heart instructs me.”
Few
Christians today understand this. You’ve probably been
told that your heart is bad, untrustworthy, or that is not
so important compared to your thoughts and beliefs. Maybe
you’ve had Jeremiah 17:9 misused to bully your heart,
“The heart is wicked and deceitful...” Without the
influence of Christ that’s true, but even Jeremiah foresaw
that God would give his people new hearts that would be responsive
to Him. Ezekiel (Ezekiel 11:19, 18:31, 36:26), Paul (Ephesians
4:24, Colossians 3:10), and so many others in the Bible said
the same thing. This is why Jesus urged us to have good and
noble hearts that respond to God’s Word, like the good
soil that receives seed and produces a bountiful harvest (Luke
8:4-15).
As
Christians our hearts are being made good and trustworthy.
So with David, the man after God’s own heart, we can
delight ourselves in the Lord, knowing that He will give us
the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). What this means is
that God isn’t going to call you to be a missionary in
Africa if you would hate doing that! He’s going to lead
you to do things that you love! Yes, some of the things he
has us do are difficult and painful, but always they are good
for our souls.
To
live and care with God’s pleasure we need to hear God
and follow His lead. Listening to God is a moment-by-moment
experience. It’s being aware of his presence in the here
and now. It’s how we experience God’s joy and it’s
how He guides us. The Apostle Paul calls it “walking
in the Spirit.” Brother Lawrence called it “practicing
the presence of God.” Alcoholics Anonymous calls it “making
conscious contact with God.”
It’s
like wearing a Miner’s Hat. You know the hats with lights
on them. God gives us the light we need for one step at a
time. Take that step and we have the light we need for the
next step. And so we follow Him one step at a time.
Recently,
I was talking with a priest who meets with me for spiritual
direction. He told me about an experience he had when he was
preparing for a mass that he was to lead. He was busily and
methodically going through his routine of getting the eucharist
ready. When all of a sudden, he heard the meow of a cat. He
stopped what he was doing and looked toward the side door.
There stood an adorable black and white cat purring at him.
Then it crept right up to him and snuggled against his leg!
In a flash, my friend sensed God saying to him, “I’m
here with you. I love you. You’re blessed to be a blessing.”
“I
guess I shouldn’t be surprised that God spoke to me through
a stray cat,” my friend chuckled. “Afterall, God
spoke to Balaam through a donkey in the Old Testament (Numbers
22). I was tuned out when I needed to be tuned in. I had forgotten
the most important preparation for the mass – myself.
God used the purring and snuggling of that cat to love on
me and then I was able to share His love with those who came
to the service.”
Receive
our Mission from God
God has a wonderful, glorious purpose for us who have put
our faith in Christ. He wants to live his life through us
– a life of joy, delighting in Him and His will, passionate
about walking with Him and sharing his life with others. And
He has a specific, distinctive way for each of us to do that.
The
Apostle Paul says in Romans 12:4-8 that God has given each
of us different gifts by his grace so that we might encourage
one another and share God’s love with those in need.
He’s made each of us with our own personalities and abilities.
In this passage Paul gives us a helpful list of seven service
gifts. Identify the one or two of these that are your gifts:
p
ing
God’s word, serving, teaching, encouraging, leading,
giving help to people in distress, and caring for those in
need.
Using
your gift is central to your mission. A life mission statement
is like the rudder in a sailboat. When you know your purpose
you can steer the boat of your life in the right direction.
It doesn’t mean there won’t be storms to toss your
boat around. There will. You may even get blown off course.
Nor does it mean that you won’t flounder at times. Waiting
for the wind to catch your sail. That’ll happen too.
But if you keep sailing and keep your hand on the rudder then
God will guide you on the adventure that you’re meant
to live.
A
year ago when I started to come out of my lull what helped
me more than anything was deciding that I needed to focus
my life on a mission statement in the form of a Bible passage,
a “life verse.” After a number of weeks of prayer
and reflection my heart settled on 2 Corinthians 5:20: “We
are therefore Christ’s ambassadors as though God were
making his appeal through us. We urge you on behalf of Christ
to be reconciled to God.” This verse seemed to be God
calling out to me saying, “Bill this is my plan for you.
You are my ambassador and you’re to show my people that
I am their Friend.” My heart leaped at the thought of
this!
Having
this mission statement helps me to stay on course. Now instead
of being determined to be successful I’m determined to
be Christ’s ambassador. Whatever I do, as a husband,
father, friend, psychologist, teacher, New Hope Director,
even in my hobbies, I can ask myself, “Am I being Christi’s
ambassador? Am I caring for souls in Jesus’ name?”
If the answer is yes then I know I’ll be living and caring
for others with God’s pleasure.
What’s
your life mission? Do you know the gift and purpose God has
given you? Maybe you’d find focus and encouragement from
God as I have by picking a life verse that you deeply want
to be true of you. Reflect on the verses or phrases from the
Bible that have inspired you. See if your heart won’t
settle on a possibility. If that’s hard for you then
do what I did and pray that God would show you a life verse
from the Bible and keep meditating and waiting for your heart
to settle on a verse.
When
we Run our own Race we Feel God’s Pleasure
The Apostle Paul described following God’s calling as
like running a race. He trained hard for his race and he ran
to win eternal gold! (1 Corinthians 9:24-26). He was compelled
by God and experienced the joy of the Lord in using his gifts
of teaching and preaching to share the gospel with as many
people as he could (1 Corinthians 9:17-18).
In
the movie “Chariots of Fire” we see that Eric Liddell
lived like that too. He was a student at Oxford and training
for the 1924 Olympics in France. His sister was frustrated
with him because she thought he should have joined her on
the mission field in China instead. Eric made the Olympic
team for Britain and was selected to run the 100-meter race,
but when he found out that the race was on the Sabbath he
refused to run in order to honor God. Another English runner
so badly wanted to see Eric run that he decided to give Eric
his spot in the 400-meter race, which was later in the week.
The other runners in the quarter mile were sure that Eric
would run out of gas since he was a sprinter.
When
the starter’s gun sounded and Eric started racing everyone
was amazed. He ran like no one has ever run – with terrible
form for racing, but wonderful form for living. As he ran
he clutched a note, “He who honors me I will honor says
the Lord.” His head was thrust back, looking toward heaven
as he laughed and flailed his arms in the joy of the Lord!
And in his mind as he ran he talked to his sister, responding
to her guilt trip, “Jenny, I believe that God has made
me for a purpose and he made me FAST! And when I run I feel
his pleasure!!”
And
all of England, all the world even, felt God’s pleasure
with him, not so much because he won the gold medal, but because
of the inspiring way that he ran with God’s pleasure
to honor the Lord.
Fill
in the Blanks to Live and Care with God’s Pleasure
Oh to live and care in God’s pleasure like that! That’s
a picture of how I want to run my life’s race for God
and others. It’s what you and I long for. To come alive
with the life of God. To live with purpose and passion inspired
by God. To use our gifts to bless others.
I’ve
discovered the secret of how I can live and care with God’s
pleasure. For me it goes like this: “God has made me
to be Christ’s ambassador and he’s given me His
wisdom. And when I teach others about God I feel His pleasure.”
How
about you? How do you fill in the blanks for what it means
for you to live and care with God’s pleasure? “I
believe that God has made me to ______________ and He’s
given me _______________. And when I _______________ I feel
His pleasure.”
