Ask Dr. Bill

Should We Think of Ourselves as Worthless?
By Dr. Bill Gaultiere

Question: I've been told I should think of myself as lowly. And I read in the Bible where King David referred to himself as a "worm." Does that mean that we should think of ourselves as worthless?

Answer: It sounds like you are struggling with low self-esteem. You are not alone. This is a soul sickness that afflicts people of all types. Even people who seem to have it all together may have self-esteem problems. That's because self-esteem doesn't have as much to do with things like beauty, intelligence, or success as it does with how we feel about ourselves. To esteem ourselves we need to see and affirm the value of who we are and what feel inside. And we need that same affirmation and encouragement from God and people we trust. And yet, tragically, sometimes people like you who turn to other people or to the Bible for help in feeling better about themselves come away feeling worse! This happens when Scriptures are misinterpreted or when other people perpetuate their own low self-esteem on you. Apparently you've had problems in both areas.

Your question focuses on King David referring to himself as a worm. Let me set the context for you to help you understand what David meant. Consider that at the heart of our Bible God has placed the book of Psalms, which is basically a journal of prayers, praises, and pleas for help written by David and others. Many of these psalms, like Psalm 22 in which David referred to himself as a worm, were written in times of difficulty and pain. David begins this psalm crying out to God, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?" He goes on to say, "I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and despised by the people. All who see me mock me; they hurl insults…" (Psalm 22:6-7a). Near the end of the psalm he musters up the faith to suggest that even though he's feeling bad at the moment he believes that God has not despised or disdained him in his suffering and has not hidden his face, but has indeed listened to his cry for help (Psalm 22:24).

What you need to know is that when David says, "I am a worm and not a man," he's not making a statement about his worth or about how God feels about him. He's simply describing his feelings in the moment. He's feeling badly because he's been continually mistreated. People have been insulting him and rejecting him even though he hasn't done anything wrong! He's crying out to God for help, but his situation hasn't improved yet. I don't know about you, but I am so thankful that psalms like this are included in our Bible! There are times that I too feel like a worm and not a man. Times that I feel badly after being insulted or rejected. Times that I cry out for God's help, but feel so distant from him. This psalm reminds me that I am not alone and that God does care, even though for a time it may seem like he doesn't. So even when I am at my worst I can talk to God about my feelings and he will listen, he will care, he will help me in due time.

As much as David went though some hard times he knew his value to God; he had a high sense of self-worth. The worm-like feelings he felt in Psalm 22 were temporary; he didn't let shame or worthlessness take a hold of his soul and cripple him. At rock bottom in his soul was a positive self-esteem. He was standing on this foundation when he prayed to God, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…. How precious concerning me are your thoughts, O God" (Psalm 139:14a, 17). Like David, we too need to know that we are wonderful and precious in God's sight. God esteems us greatly and he wants us have a strong sense of positive self-esteem.

To be sure, I'm not encouraging you to have a "Pollyanna" self-esteem that is idealistic and unrealistic. A truly positive self-esteem is realistic about not only our good points but also our bad points. None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. We all have character weaknesses. We all are sinners. The Apostle Paul spoke for all of us when he confessed, "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out" (Romans 7:18b). Even though, like Paul, we don't always do what is good, we need to remember that God loves us and he forgives us and we can love and forgive ourselves too. As Paul himself said, "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ" (Romans 8:1). We don't need to live with guilt and self-criticism. When we mess up all we need to do is say we're sorry and the slate is wiped clean (1 John 1:9). We can feel good about ourselves even though we are imperfect if we remember that we are loved and we receive God's forgiveness. God knows us completely, the good and the bad, and he loves and esteems us fully. We need to do the same. When we do, not only will we benefit but those around us will benefit as we share that same love and esteem with them.

So if you ever feel like a worm again, don't stop there. Talk to God or a friend about how you feel. Remember what God has done for you and how he feels about you. Realize that you are not a worm but a caterpillar who is becoming a beautiful butterfly! This is God's dream for you and I. It's to take us as we are, even if we are crawling along in the dirt like worms, and wrap us in a cocoon of comfort and caring for a time. Then he wants to take our wounds and our weaknesses and work wonders by giving us wings, painting us with colorful patterns, and lifting our spirits so we can fly in the sky!

(For more Bible verses and thoughts on how God loves and esteems us see my article, "God's Love, Our Gift.")

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