Delighting in Spiritual Friendships
(Part of the curriculum for the "Christ's Ambassadors Spiritual Formation Group")
William Gaultiere, Ph.D. © 2006
“We really seldom do anybody much good
excepting as we share the deepest experiences of our souls.”
Frank Laubach (Practicing His Presence, p. 3)
“I long to visit you so I can share a spiritual blessing with you that will help you grow strong in the Lord. I'm eager to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours. In this way, each of us will be a blessing to the other” (Romans 1:11-12, NLT). Is that how you feel about our group? As I’ve told you before that is how I feel! These words from the Apostle Paul represent the heart of what our Christ’s Ambassador’s Discipleship group is about: spiritual friendship.
We Need Deep-Spirited Friends
“How good and pleasant it is when brothers [and sisters] live together in unity” (Psalm 133:1). Yes, indeed!
This is why again and again the Scriptures remind us and show us that we need “deep-spirited friends” (Philippians 2:2b, MSG), even referring to such friends as “saints” and “glorious ones” for us to put all our “delight” in! (Psalm 16:3, NIV). Imagine how beautiful and loving and profoundly transforming our friendships with one another would become if we delighted in God’s saintliness and glory in one another! We’d discover the truth of the Proverb: “Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul” (Proverbs 27:9, MSG). As deep-spirited friends we would help one another to live with divine purpose. We’d inspire one another to worship God, speaking “to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs” (Ephesians 5:19, NIV). We’d encourage one another to “grow strong in the Lord” by sharing “a spiritual blessing” (Romans 1:11-12, NIV). We’d strengthen one another to serve God with “outbursts of love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24, NIV). We’d discover what Aelred of Rievaulx (1110-1167) so beautifully described in his classic devotional, Spiritual Friendship: “‘He who abides in’ friendship ‘abides in God, and God in him’” (1 John 4:16 paraphrase, p. 41). Expanding on this theme of deep-spirited friends leading us closer to God, Aelred explains:
Friendship will be full of riches for those who cherish it when it is completely centered upon God; for those whom friendship joins together, it immerses in the contemplation of God (Spiritual Friendship, p. 54).
Spiritual friends become “Christ’s Ambassadors” to one another, mediating heaven’s hospitality of being included in the wonderful and glorious friendship of the Trinity! (2 Corinthians 5:20). This kind of deep-spirited friendship is distinct from other types of companionship. Consider the friendships that we develop in church through Bible studies and support groups. While these types of small groups are valuable they are not necessarily spiritual friendships that deepen our intimacy with Jesus and our personal formation as his apprentices in everyday life. As Thomas Kelly says, “Until [friends]… have become wholly God-enthralled, Light-centered, they can be only good acquaintances with whom we pass the time of day” (A Testament of Devotion, p. 52). “Fellowship,” Ray Ortlund explains, “isn’t two people looking at each other; it’s two people looking away together at something else – at Christ and His purposes” (Lord Make My Life a Miracle, p. 69).
“Until Christ is formed in you” (Galatians 4:19b, NKJV) – this is the glorious goal of spiritual friendship! (And it’s also the purpose of spiritual mentoring or discipleship which is more directed and less mutual than spiritual friendship – we’ll discuss this in a later week). David Benner calls friends like these “Sacred Companions” in his book, by that title, on spiritual friendship and spiritual direction. This sacred companionship is the kind of friendship that David had with Jonathan, Ruth had with Naomi, and Paul had with Barnabas. Even Jesus himself put priority on his spiritual friendships with Peter, James, and John!
Spiritual Friendships Reveal Jesus as our Friend
If the people you know were to make a list of their friends who would write down your name on their list? Who considers you to be a friend? Think about it…
I was asked that question along with about 30 other people. I made a list of all the names of the people I thought would say I am a friend to them. All 30 of us in the room did this exercise. When we were done the leader asked us, “How many of you wrote down Jesus’ name?” I hadn’t. Only one of us did! How easily we forget what Jesus has shown us…
Jesus says to you and to I: “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you… You are my friends” (John 15:9a, 14a, NIV). Is that amazing or what? The Creator, our Lord and Master, the King of all kings, wants to be our Friend! In fact, he prayed specifically for you and I that we might enter into the Trinity’s community of love and glory (John 17:21). Oh, to be a friend of the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, to share in their beautiful Trinitarian community of love! Oh, to hear the Lover of our souls say, “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me” and then to join the cooing of doves and the blossoming spring flowers in singing to him (Song of Solomon 2:10b, NIV). Life doesn’t get any better than that!
The friendship of God is a very deep reality imbedded in the mystery of the holy Trinity. God in his very nature is a community. Father, Son, and Spirit are one Lord, a “sweet society.” They love one another as perfect Friends. And Jesus came in the incarnation to invite us into this holy and delightful eternal fellowship! Jesus shows us what true friendship is and he invites us into the Trinity’s heavenly love and enables to become deep-spirited friends with one another as he is with his Father and the Spirit and with us.
Being Jesus’ friend, and through him to be included in the friendship of the Trinity, is the greatest honor and the sweetest love! To be drawn ever closer into the embrace of the Holy One puts perspective on everything else in life and, in particular, it works to regulate all our unhealthy dependencies and reactivities in human relationships. God’s love diminishes all our fear, anger, defensiveness, people-pleasing, mood-matching, selfish ambition, and worldliness. As Thomas a Kempis says, we learn to “Love all for Jesus, but Jesus for Himself” (The Imitation of Christ, p. 76).
Solitude and Spiritual Friendship
Spiritual friendships are vital for Christ followers, “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (Luke 5:16, NIV). Indeed, Jesus modeled withdrawing into solitude being just as important as gathering in prayerful partnerships. Withdrawing into solitude as Jesus did might seem to be a movement that conflicts with spiritual friendship. But Jesus knew that he needed private times alone with his Father and so he often stopped his ministering to the clamoring crowds of people to get alone with the Father. This was so important to him that sometimes he’d give up food or sleep in order to pray in private! And the strength he found in solitude strengthened him for ministering to others, as Mark observed and reported in his gospel: “Jesus could no longer enter a town openly but stayed outside in lonely places. Yet the people still came to him from everywhere” (Mark 1:45b, NIV). Jesus’ solitude so rooted him in the reality of the Father’s friendship that when people came to him he was never swayed, let alone knocked down, by the ax blows of enemies or the flattery of people; never reacted with retaliatory anger or insecure defensiveness, nor did he cling to pleasing people to hold himself upright. He “knew all men” and limited his trust in them accordingly (John 2:24).
The saints of God in Scripture and throughout history have had this same custom. We all need times for quiet aloneness and prayerful reflection – 20 minutes while driving alone in the car, an hour long private prayer walk, and spending the better part of a day with Jesus. But many of us avoid time alone in silence because of the deep soul work it requires to get centered and still with God – denying ourselves the self-importance that comes from work and ministry, letting go of the sense of control we feel in talking, removing the distractions of noise, praying through restless fidgeting and anxious ruminating, and confessing our sins that we become aware of. But then in the stillness we can hear God’s voice and come into a deep and expansive peace. And the space we make for God enables us to provide spiritual hospitality to others as we listen, care, and pray for them.
It works the other way too! Deep heart sharing and soul communion with friends strengthens our individual, solitary walk with Christ. But just as with solitude, spiritual friendship must be forged through rough terrain. When we converse openly with one another, sharing our spiritual experiences and struggles with one another, we may have to work through relational fears and conflicts… “Can I really trust him? Will he open his heart to me?” “Is she safe? Will she accept me?” We’ve all been hurt in past relationships and so re-establishing trust is risky and requires gentleness and perseverance. But once we establish a spiritual connection and closeness it’s worth the effort because we discover a visible, auditory, tactile opportunity to talk with and listen to God through our friend.
Do you see how solitude and spiritual friendship complement one another? Each needs the other. Dietrich Bonhoeffer aptly explains:
Each by itself has profound pitfalls and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation, and despair (Life Together, p. 78).
If we get into a rhythm with time alone with God and time with a spiritual partner then we find that each enriches the other. The words and warmth we receive in private from God we can share with our friends; the care and comfort we share with our friends strengthens our faith in times that we’re walking alone with God in the dark. The grounding of solitude protects us from getting entangled with or controlled by others; the testing ground of friendship both mediates and proves the love of God in us. It’s hard for many of us to keep the balance. If you’re an extrovert then you’re drawn to spend time with people because talking with others energizes you and so you may need encouragement to stretch yourself to withdraw into quiet time alone with the Lord. If you’re an introvert, like me, then you’re on the other end of the spectrum and are probably more contemplative and like spending time alone with God in solitude and so you may need to discipline yourself to work more on developing spiritual friendships.
How to Develop Spiritual Friendships
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that having a spiritual friend is just for ministers or elite Christians! What we’re talking about simply is a partner for living life with God. Spiritual partners are ordinary friends who desire to help one another to grow closer to the Lord and so at times they engage in intentional conversation and prayer to encourage one another’s spiritual growth. We all need a soul friend like this. As Henri Nouwen says:
You might already have discovered for yourself how radically different traveling alone is from traveling together. I have found over and over again how hard it is to be truly faithful to Jesus when I am alone. I need my brothers and sisters to pray with me, to speak with me about the spiritual task at hand, and to challenge me to stay pure in mind, heart, and body (In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership, p. 41).
Steve, my best friend from childhood, who is a pastor in Cleveland today, affirmed me on a birthday card when I turned 40, “Your friendship and focus has been such an inspiration to me. Thanks for blowing on the sparks in my life.” Those words mean a lot to me because that’s what spiritual friends do for each other; they focus together on matters of faith and inflame each other’s souls for God. Even though we live 2,000 miles apart now and may see each other just once in a given year he’s a true Jonathan in my life because when we’re together it’s like no time has passed – we just pick up right where we left off and resume encouraging one another with spiritual blessings! I still remember the first time he asked me a probing question about my relationship with God. It riveted my soul. He was inviting me to go deep with God with him. I learned to join him and so over the years we’ve often asked one another questions like:
- “What are you learning in your devotions (we used to call these “quiet times”) with the Lord?”
- “How’s it going in your prayer life?”
- “What’s God been speaking to you lately?”
How do you develop a friend like this? Be a friend like that! Offer spiritual friendship to someone else, maybe even a friend who is already in your life. Of course, you can’t do this just by trying – you need to start by looking to Jesus as your Friend and asking him to help you to befriend others. Thomas Kelly wisely explains, “We don’t create [spiritual friendship] deliberately; we find it and we find ourselves increasingly within it as we find ourselves increasingly within Him” (A Testament of Devotion, p. 54). So be attentive to God’s presence in your conversations with your friends and then talk about it. Open up your heart and by discussing your relationship with Jesus – your struggles and your joys in your faith journey – and asking open spiritual questions (like those above) to invite your friend to share.
The importance of cultivating sacred companionships is urged upon us repeatedly in the Bible. For instance, did you know that there are 56 “One Another Commands” in the New Testament? (22 of the “One Anothers” in the New Testament are included in this week’s meditations.) God helping us, we need to become the kind of person who lives out these “One Anothers.” For instance, as spiritual friends we’re to…
- “Greet one another” (1 Corinthians 1:10, NIV)
- “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you” (Romans 15:7a, NIV)
- “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10, NIV)
- “Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16a, NIV)
- “Serve one another in love” (Galatians 5:13, NIV)
- “Spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24, NIV)
What you want your relating to lead to is prayer – inviting God into the conversation (which means becoming aware that he already is present and getting attuned to his activity) is what spiritual friendship is really all about. That’s the way to really connect in spirit and Spirit! Our vintage spiritual friend, Aelred of Rievaulx, says it best in his prayerful invitation:
Here we are, you and I, and I hope that Christ makes a third with us… So come now, dearest friend, reveal your heart and speak your mind. You have a friendly audience; say whatever you wish. And let us not be ungrateful for this time or for our opportunity and leisure (Spiritual Friendship, p. 29).
Often the easiest way to start a spiritual friendship is simply by sharing a spiritual experience together that may naturally lead to conversation about relationship with God and prayer. For instance, Kristi and I like to read Christian devotional books and discuss them and have done this with such classics as, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman, and Devotional Classics, by Richard Foster and James Bryan Smith. We also enjoy sharing spiritual movies, hikes, conferences, and retreats at a local monastery. But the most important thing we do is to pray together everyday. Years ago Dr.’s Dave and Jan Stoop, who have been mentors to us, encouraged us to do for our marriage and faith and we’ve done it every day since. Even just a few minutes together in prayer is a wonderful way to conclude our evening, wrap up our conversation, and settle into sleep!
It Takes Courage to Get Started
Our relationship with God is the most intimate and important part of us. So it may seem intimidating to you to dive into the deep waters of spiritual conversation! Many people feel that way. I have. In the mid 1990’s I found myself lonely for a male spiritual friend to meet with regularly. The friend I had been meeting with moved away and, as I just said, Steve was in Cleveland. So I began to pray that God would help me to find another Christian man who I respected and felt safe with, someone that I could meet with regularly for sharing our hearts and how things were going in our relationships with God and praying for one another. I had prayed for a friend like this steadily for a year and still didn’t know where to turn. Then finally I met Bucky, the Family Ministries Pastor at Mariners Church, and, hearing that he liked to jog, I got up my courage to ask him if he’d like to get together to jog, talk, and pray together sometime and maybe do this regularly if we both decided we wanted that. We’ve been doing this semi-weekly ever since!
Like I did you’ll probably have to take a hold of courage to deepen a friendship or start a new one. One woman in a spiritual growth group told me, “People tell me I’m too spiritual when I ask spiritual questions so I hold back.” I and the others in our group rallied around her to affirm her precious spirit and her eagerness to grow closer to the Lord. She needed to see that friends who were judgmental or quick to give advice were not good candidates for spiritual friendship! Instead she needed to bring her spiritual needs to gracious people who are good listeners and also share her interest in spiritual growth. In our group she learned what this was like. She disclosed her spiritual struggles, longings, and intimacies and was affirmed. And she also discovered the joy of being a blessing to others! This gave her an experiential reference point for developing spiritual friendships in her life. Today she’s part of a group of people that meet regularly to pray for one another and to develop programs to share the gospel with young people.
Many Contexts
Spiritual conversations with friends can occur in many venues. Face-to-face is always best – whether at a small group meeting, coffee shop, or while taking a walk together. But I’ve also had many valuable interactions with deep-spirited friends over the phone or via e-mail. And many of the great Christians of the past shared their relationship with God with one another through letters. If it weren’t for what we now call “snail mail” we would not have such classic devotional writings as Brother Lawrence’s Practicing the Presence of God or The Letters of Baron Friedrich von Hugel.
In fact, from Southern California I led a Christ’s Ambassadors Spiritual Formation Group with four people who lived thousands of miles apart and never met face-to-face! I was amazed at the intimacy we were able to experience through learning and practicing the same spiritual disciplines each week, sharing journal entries via e-mail, and conversing and praying together over conference phone calls. Even participating in group chats online proved to be a surprisingly connective experience for us, like the time we took turns typing “Breath Prayers” to one another and breathing in and out our prayers over cyber space!
Spiritual Disciplines
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Meditation. Reflect and pray on the attached, “Meditations: Delighting in Spiritual Friendships.”
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Practice. Read, “Spiritual Disciplines: Befriending the Classics.” Pick one of the classics Christian devotional books to read in order to befriend the author and let the fire for God from his or heart warm your own. Read the first chapter of this book and then talk and pray with a spiritual friend about how you sensed God’s presence as you read. Or turn to one of the great Christian hymns with a friend for shared inspiration.
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Lectio Divina. Meditate on the story of the two disciples on the Emmaus Road (Luke 24:13-36). These disciples were in “deep discussion” about spiritual things as they walked along when suddenly the risen Christ appeared to them, enlightened their understanding of the Scriptures, and set their hearts on fire! Let’s enter into their conversation of three so that we too will marvel, “Didn't our hearts feel strangely warm as he talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:32, NLT).
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Pray. Dear God. You are Father, Son, and Spirit – a community of love, always blessing one another. And you invite us to join you and to bless one another. Thank you for Loving Lord for how you’ve befriended us in our relationships. We ask you to deepen our friendships and focus them on you and your goodness – particularly in our group. Give us courage to open up to one another and to you in our conversations and prayers like the two disciples on the Emmaus road. Use our interactions to draw us closer to you Lord and to overflow with your grace to one another. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
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Spiritual Direction. How are your spiritual friendships going? Write in your journal and share with your partner one or more examples of companions helping you to grow spiritually or, if you’re struggling in this area share that and ask for prayer.
Meditations: Delighting in Spiritual Friendships
SPIRITUAL FRIENDSHIP IS GOD’S NATURE
God is a community and made us to commune with him and one another
“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule… It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’… He brought them to the man to see what he would name them… But for Adam no suitable helper was found… Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man’” (Genesis 1:26a, 2:18b, 19b, 20b, 22-23NIV).
True love comes from God and is the soul’s springtime
“My lover spoke and said to me, ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land’” (Song of Solomon, 2:10-12, NIV).
Jesus invites us to join the spiritual friendship of the Trinity!
“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you… You are my friends” (John 15:9a, 14a, NIV).
“My prayer for all of them is that they will be one, just as you and I are one, Father - that just as you are in me and I am in you, so they will be in us, and the world will believe you sent me” (John 17:21, NLT).
WE NEED THE BLESSINGS OF SPIRITUAL FRIENDSHIPS
Oneness in friendship ministers God’s priestly and heavenly blessing
“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment poured on the head, that ran down on the beard, even the beard of Aaron [the first high priest], that came down upon the collar and skirts of his garments [consecrating the whole body]. It is like the dew of [lofty] Mount Hermon and the dew that comes on the hills of Zion; for there the Lord has commanded the blessing, even life forevermore [upon the high and the lowly]” (Psalm 133, AMP)..
We need a faithful friend
“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24, NIV).
We need friends for work, help, warmth, and safety
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, NIV).
We need deep-spirited (united wills, shared love) friends
“Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends” (Philippians 2:2,b, MSG).
We need spiritual friends to help us appreciate God as our Friend
“We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he's already a friend with you” (2 Corinthians 5:20, MSG).
We need Christ-companions to help us run away from sin to Christ
“Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts” (2 Timothy 2:22, NLT).
HOW TO SHARE THE BLESSINGS OF SPIRITUAL FRIENDSHIP
Welcome one another as Christ
“Welcome and receive [to your hearts] one another, then, even as Christ has welcomed and received you, for the glory of God” (Romans 15:7, AMP).
Be equally yoked in God’s righteousness and in light
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14, NKJV).
Speak Scriptures and songs to each other to worship God
“Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:19, NIV; see also Colossians 3:16).
Give spiritual blessings to encourage one another’s growth
“I long to visit you so I can share a spiritual blessing with you that will help you grow strong in the Lord. I'm eager to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours. In this way, each of us will be a blessing to the other” (Romans 1:11-12, NLT).
Spur each other on to overflow with loving service
“Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24, NLT).
Refresh the souls of others and sweeten their life
“Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul” (Proverbs 27:9, MSG).
Help one another to become more effective tools for God
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17, NIV).
Find “sweet counsel” as you walk to God’s house together
“We took sweet counsel together, and walked to the house of God in the throng” (Psalm 55:14, NKJV).
Delight in the radiance of God’s glory through your friend!
“As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight” (Psalm 16:3, NIV)
Share hearts, invite the Lord in, and journal to share with others
“Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another, and the LORD listened and heard them; So a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the LORD and who meditate on His name” (Malachi 3:16, NKJV).
Sacrifice for your friend’s welfare as Jesus has done for you
“This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father. You didn't choose me, remember; I chose you” (John 15:13-16a, MSG).
Practice the “One Anothers” of the New Testament
“As I [Jesus] have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples… Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves… Live in harmony with one another… Stop passing judgment on one another… Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you… Instruct one another… Greet one another… Serve one another in love… Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love… Be kind and compassionate to one another… Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs… Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ… Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you… Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom… Encourage one another and build each other up… Spur one another on toward love and good deeds… Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another… Do not slander one another… Love one another deeply, from the heart… Offer hospitality to one another… Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another… If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another” (John 13:34b-35a; Romans 12:10; 12:16a; 14:13b; 15:7a; 15:14b; 1 Corinthians 1:10; Galatians 5:13; Ephesians 4:2; 32; 5:19; 5:21; Colossians 3:13; 16a; 1 Thessalonians 5:11b; Hebrews 10:24b; 25a; James 4:11b; 1 Peter 1:22b; 1 Peter 4:9a; 1 Peter 5:5b; 1 John 1:7a; all NIV).
JESUS SHOWS US HOW TO DEVELOP SPIRITUAL FRIENDSHIPS
Jesus took initiative to choose his friends and we need to do the same
“Jesus said to them ‘Come with me…’” (Matthew 4:19a, CEV).
Jesus and his disciples walked and talked often to build their friendship
“[Jesus and his disciples] went to another village. As they were walking along the road…” (Luke 9:56-57a, NIV).
Jesus often spent time with his three closest spiritual friends
“Jesus… took Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray” (Luke 9:28b, NIV).
Jesus spends time relaxing and talking over meals with his friends
“Later Jesus and his disciples were at home having supper with a collection of disreputable guests. Unlikely as it seems, more than a few of them had become followers” (Mark 2:15, MSG).
Jesus supports his friends emotionally
“Don't be troubled. You trust God, now trust in me” (John 14:1, NLT).
Jesus cries for his friends
“Jesus wept” (John 11:35, NIV)
Jesus is vulnerable with his friends
“Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me’” (Matthew 26:38, NIV).
Jesus shares things with his friends that he doesn’t share with others
“Then he left the crowd and went into the house. His disciples came to him and said, ‘Explain to us the parable of the weeds in the field.’ He answered…” (Matthew 13:36-37a, NIV).
Jesus serves his friends
“[Jesus] got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him” (John 13:4-5, NIV).
Jesus invites us to join his glorious, loving relationship with the Father
“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me” (John 17:20-23, NIV).
Jesus comes whenever spiritual friends gather in his name
“For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20, NIV).
Jesus gives us the Best Friend we could have to live inside us!
“I will talk to the Father, and he'll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth. The godless world can't take him in because it doesn't have eyes to see him, doesn't know what to look for. But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you! …The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you… When the Friend I plan to send you from the Father comes - the Spirit of Truth issuing from the Father - he will confirm everything about me… But when the Friend comes, the Spirit of the Truth, he will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is. He won't draw attention to himself, but will make sense out of what is about to happen and, indeed, out of all that I have done and said (John 14:16-17, 26; 15:26; 16:13, MSG).
OUR BIBLE HEROES SHOW US HOW TO DEVELOP SPIRITUAL FRIENDS
Abraham’s faith enabled him to become God’s friend
“And the scripture was fulfilled that says, ‘Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,’ and he was called God's friend” (James 2:23, NIV).
Moses had a face-to-face friendship with God
“The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend… When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the LORD… ‘My servant Moses; he is faithful in all my house. With him I speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the LORD’” (Exodus 33:11a; 34:29; Numbers 12:7b-8, NIV)
David and Jonathan should’ve been rivals, but became spiritual soul mates
“After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father's house. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt…“I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women” (1 Samuel 18:1-4; 2 Samuel 1:26; both NIV).
Ruth had a spiritual friendship with her mother-in-law Naomi
“But Ruth said, ‘Don't force me to leave you; don't make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I'll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I'll die, and that's where I'll be buried, so help me GOD - not even death itself is going to come between us!’” (Ruth 1:16-17, MSG).
Two disciples walked and talked soul-fully and Jesus warmed their hearts
“That same day two of Jesus' followers were walking to the village of Emmaus, seven miles out of Jerusalem. As they walked along they were talking about everything that had happened. Suddenly, Jesus himself came along and joined them and began walking beside them. But they didn't know who he was, because God kept them from recognizing him. ‘You seem to be in a deep discussion about something,’ he said… They begged him to stay the night with them, since it was getting late. So he went home with them. As they sat down to eat, he took a small loaf of bread, asked God's blessing on it, broke it, then gave it to them. Suddenly, their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And at that moment he disappeared! They said to each other, ‘Didn't our hearts feel strangely warm as he talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?’” (Luke 24:13-17a, 29-32, NLT).
The early Christians gathered for spiritual friendship continually
“[The apostles] all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers” (Acts 1:14, NIV).
Barnabas (“Son of Encouragement”) was a friend to Paul
“When [Saul, later renamed Paul,] came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus” (Acts 9:26-27, NIV).
